Well, here we go, two posts in one day - I am on a roll!  My OCD self tried to talk me into backdating my prior post but it lost the debate.  I don't feel it should matter what date I am posting on, and the only reason I would backdate the post is so that I wouldn't feel guilty for not having posted in a while - talk about driving yourself insane and being your worst critic - still working on this one and it may be a lifetime project.

So, in my prior post I mentioned my "shoulds", things that I feel that I have to do because if I don't, then I feel am not a responsible person. Some of my "shoulds" include "I should water my plants or they will die", "I should post an new entry on my website or people won't visit my site anymore", "I should answer all those emails that need answering or people's feelings will be hurt", "I should clean my house or people will think I am a slob" - well you get the point.  I spend countless hours making "to-do" lists, organizing my life as well as the members of my family's lives.  I am one hell of a multi-tasker - I can talk on the phone while answering emails, I can eat while standing up going through the mail and listening to the television in the background, I can text while listening to what you are saying (quite rude though, in my opinion, but wouldn't want the person texting me to think I was ignoring them).  The list goes on and on.  The problem with this I have found, is although I can get quite a bit done in a day, stepping back to pat myself on the back in regards to all that I have accomplished, I never give one thing my full attention.  Let me repeat this - NOTHING EVER GETS MY FULL ATTENTION, which means I never get to fully experience anything right there in the moment.  Do you know how much I miss out on?

It saddens me that we live in a world where accomplishments, how much we can get done, are held in such high regard. If we give several of the same tasks to two different people and one of them finishes everything on the list and the other one was only able to complete one, we praise the one that finished more.  What if the other person, who was giving that one item all his attention, was totally there, in the moment, not thinking about crossing items off the list, not thinking about how he was going to feel at the end of the assignment, not thinking about what he had to do tomorrow and how he was going to accomplish it, but just completely focused on the task at hand and was able to not only complete it, but describe his experience in such a way that others actually were able to feel that they completed the task with him, what then?  Would we clap our hands in an obligatory manner as we turn to hand the prize over to the multi-tasker or would we be able to truly appreciate his accomplishment?

Can you imagine what life would be like if we were able to wake up and let the day speak to us, let it guide us to do what calls to us, not what we "should" do?  Today is that day for me.  I have decided to try and have one of these days a month - not alot but it is a start.  A day where I wake up and nothing is planned, where surprises are hiding like Easter eggs and I squeal like a child every time one is discovered.  I find that when I leave open some time, the unexpected feels comfortable enough to pay me a visit.  No need to knock, the door is open.  I am excited about all the things I may discover that would have otherwise had no chance because they weren't on the list, things like writing this post, lying on my bed listening to a new CD without doing anything else, finishing a book that I have been wanting to read, staying in my pajamas while sitting on the couch holding one of my kittens as he sleeps in my arms.  Pure delight!!  I highly recommend giving it a try.

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